Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sick!!!!

This is a vent post about being a working mom, so if you don't want to hear it then dont' read it!

I'm sick of packing the daycare bag every night, waking up early, hurrying to get ready in the morning and dropping Conner off at daycare, commuting to work, working 9 hours a day and missing Conner every single second of the day, driving home in traffic at night, picking him up and hearing about his day knowing that I didn't get to be part of it, hurrying home to make dinner, trying to find energy to play with Conner, running errands and cleaning the house. And then the very last part of the day I finally get to spend time with my husband but I am usually just too tired and fall asleep!

This past month has been really hard. Conner is growing and getting more active and I feel like I'm going to miss something! I want so bad to stay at home and raise him! I hate paying for somebody to watch him! I wish that I would've thought about being a stay at home mom years ago and made it work. I feel like Chris and I are doing something wrong. I look at blogs of people who are stay at home moms and they travel and go on vacations and I wish that could be me (I know that's bad). It just sucks!

Alright, vent over, back to work! Thanks for listening!

11 comments:

Mollie and Jason said...

WOMAN! You will be able to make it work... The first little bit is hard, but you will figure it out. Enjoy the time you do get to spend with Conner and soak it up! You will be able to stay at home with him one day. Conner can't express it now, but I know he is very greatful that you are working to help provide for him, and to be able to have a great person help watch him. You are doing a great job mama so don't ever forget that!

Melanie said...

First of all, I'm really sorry that your having a hard time.

Secondly, this stay at home mom doesn't get to travel and go on vacations. I'd like to, but financially it isn't in the cards right now.

Thirdly, I'm really glad that you can look at your family's situation, asses it, and do what's right by it. Whether that's working full time, part time, or staying home. You gotta do what you gotta do my friend. I'm sure that at some point you guys will figure out how to make the stay at home thing work if that's what you want to do. But for now, just know that we're here cheering you on.

Melanie said...

P.S. You're great!

Ariel said...

You know I feel the same way. I just know that one day it will happen for us. When you want something bad enough you have to work for it and make it happen. So lets do it!!

Snell Family said...

It's awesome that you want to stay home with him, I hope you get to soon. I'm sorry it's so hard on you, I can't even imagine. Just know that you're doing the best you can and hopefully you'll be able to find a solution that works where you can stay home with him.

Tara said...

I work part time hours and am home a lot with Max but still wish ever so much I could be with him even more.

But at the same time I do enjoy having a job just because it does give me time to socialize with people over the age of 11 months old.

Being a mom and having a job is always a tough thing do.

I know in my situation we decided not to buy a home so that I could work less and be with Max. We also don't have tons of money saved, but those are things we don't have and others do. But for me I'm fine with it and know one day I will be able to stay at home and not worry about silly ole work

You are a great mom and person. Things will defiantly get better!! :)

(Hope that all made sense)

jenny said...

i saw this at first and thought.. omg.. i knew we shouldn't have rode in the truck with them..

then i read the first line.. and.. still didn't feel any better..

i love your face and i hope that one day you can stay at home with li'l C.. maybe even get to go part time at work? i can't imagine what that feels like.. (since i'm not a mommy..) but i can imagine if i were.. how i would want to be there for those milestones like walking and first words and such.

you're an amazing mommy.
and a hot mommy.

i hope you can work out spending time with the little one the way that works for you.

<3 you.

dusty kay said...

I have to say I completely agree with your friend Melanie. Our family was never able to travel and go on vacations. My kids have still not been to Disneyland. Life always comes in the way. Only you and Chris know what has to be done/change in order for you to stay home. Give yourself a time a limit. Think, if we stop eating out, doing this and that...buckle down to pay off whatever debt you have, trade in for smaller car payments, doing WHATEVER it takes, to stay home. Only you have the power to make the change. If you aren't able to commit to buckling down to doing what you need to do then you obviously don't want to stay home that bad. And I think you want to stay home THAT bad. All the changes you make before you stay home are things that would have to happen on a one income family anyway. Keep your head up Amber. You will one day be able to make it work if you want it bad enough. But only you know what has to be done. You are such a cute, loving mom. Don't ever doubt that because you aren't home all day. You aren't the first working mom and you won't be the last. You are doing what is best for your family. Sometimes the best decision isn't the easiest decision.

Carl and Steph said...

Hang in there. One day, when you are a stay at home mom you'll long for work and the adult interaction it brings. You'll be able to think back to these feelings you're having now. Somewhere you'll find a balance. It's tough not having what we want now RIGHT NOW. But the delayed gratification makes us appriciate our accomplishments even more.

The Deviny's said...

I'm sorry you're having a hard time...I can't even imagine having to leave Rowan! You're a strong momma!
Have you heard of Dave Ramsey? We followed his plan in "The Total Money Makeover" and I believe that is the reason I am able to stay home. We have no debt besides our house, so all we have to pay are our monthly bills and expenses and the rest goes into savings! His plan is simple and now Derek and I love talking about our finances =)

Hang in there!

Amber said...

Thank you everyone for your love and support!